The woman who told her husband to ‘get over’ her mother’s death has the internet split

A woman who told him husband to “get over” the death of his mother, the Internet is divided by a new viral publication.

Posted to RedditOn the popular “AmITheA**hole” forum, a woman with the username u/Thin-Increase-4140 shared her story for the community to decide if she was wrong. The post has 7,000 upvotes and 1,000 comments.

About a year ago, the Redditor explained that her husband’s mother had died in an unexpected car accident. Her husband “Andy” had a close relationship with her mother, so it was difficult to deal with losing her.

“He developed a really bad depression. I did my best to stay strong for him and offer him comfort when he needed it, but it’s been really hard being his emotional crutch. Andy stayed home all day. quit your job and hardly paid attention to me. I had to pay all the bills,” she wrote.

He had the unfortunate realization that his marriage was “dying.” She urged him to go see a therapist, but he declined the offer.

“It broke my heart to see the man I love fall to pieces,” she wrote.

duel losing a parent can be difficult. According PaternalSome ways you can help your partner through the grieving process include being patient with your partner, being there for them in their time of need, and seeking therapy if the process worsens.

man and woman arguing
A Reddit user took her story to Reddit’s “AmITheA**hole” forum to see if she was wrong in telling her husband to “get over” his mother’s death.
Boris Jovanovic/iStock/Getty Images Plus

After coming home from a bad day at work, she noticed trash where her husband was sitting on the couch. When she asked him to clean it, he said no.

“Something snapped inside me and I yelled ‘I think it’s time for you to forget your mom!’ Andy looked at me like I was crazy and said, ‘How can you say such a thing? My mom isn’t shit, she’s my mom and she’s dead.’ I apologized, but told him to look at himself: no job, depressed, throwing away his life and his relationship with his wife,” he wrote.

“He said, ‘It’s already so hard, don’t make it harder. I don’t need you to scold me at the hardest time of my life!’ I tried to express my point of view, but he abruptly got angry, called me a ‘fucking bitch’ and then left,” he concluded.

She admitted that she didn’t like what he said about her mother, but feels “exhausted” and doesn’t know what to do about their struggling relationship.

Reddit users were quick to defend the woman in the comments section.

“[Not the A**hole] What you said was inappropriate based on how it was worded and that you felt exhausted and overly emotional. That said, this man has refused to engage in any activity to help you recover from your loss, so all aspects of your relationship with him rests with you,” u/Darwina received the top comment with 14,000 upvotes.

U/justacuriousposter said: “[Not the A**hole]. A bereavement leave is understandable. But quitting a job and not getting another almost a year later, not making any effort to TRY to get over his death, not being intimate on a consistent basis, it’s not fair on you. Basically, you carry the burden of the housekeeper, the breadwinner and the emotional caregiver.”

“[Everyone Sucks Here]. Bad choice of words, but I understand your frustration. Losing someone close sucks, but shutting yourself down in a way that overwhelms everyone else is not acceptable,” u/verminiusrex said.

“[Everyone Sucks Here]. You were tough, but you’re human. People break. It sounds like you’ve been trying to help and support a person who doesn’t try to help himself for almost a year and ran out of spoons at that point. You still said it in a [a**hole] way, but I understand why it happened,” said u/Ok-Aardvark-6742.

news week reached out to u/Thin-Increase-4140 for comment.

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