Members of a popular internet forum were quick to defend a mother’s decision to put a padlock on her 10-year-old son’s bedroom door.
in a virus Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/NewtGroundbreaking70 (aka the original poster or OP) described his only son as “a quiet kid who likes his own space” and explained how overwhelming his nephews were on catalyst for increased privacy measures.
Entitled, “[Am I the a**hole] for putting a padlock on my son’s bedroom door?” mail It has received nearly 7,000 votes and 1,200 comments in the last nine hours.
Writing that his older sister and her three children live down the street, the original poster said that his extended family is around a lot and can be a nuisance to his son.
“They always swarm into their room to play when they come [around]”, OP wrote.
After an argument with her husband, the original poster said the parents came to a mutual decision to install a lock on their son’s house. the door of the roomand told the boy that he can use the lock to keep his cousins out of his space.
However, the first time her nieces and nephews discovered her cousin’s locked bedroom door, the original sign said so. It immediately caused problems With her sister.
“The children flocked to his room only to find the door locked, at first they thought it was stuck and they came to tell me… I told them no, it was locked and it was my son’s decision if you wanted to leave her. them inside,” OP wrote. “My sister was upset with me about this and she told me that a 10 year old didn’t need that kind of privacy and that she was just training him to be rude and inconsiderate.”
“He wasn’t going to point out in front of his kids that they were the reason he needed the lock in the first place,” OP continued. “I told my sister to go away And if your kids needed to play so badly, there was no reason to stay after lunch.”
“My sister finally stormed out…but she’s been telling our parents how rude I’ve been and how I’m teaching my son to be inconsiderate too and how I’m not teaching him to ‘share’.” OP added. “Our parents are on my sister’s side… my husband is on my side and has suggested that my sister and her children not come.” [around] for a moment.”
Although bedrooms are almost always accompanied by a bedroom door, some parents view the physical separation between themselves and their children as a tool of power and control.
While a closed door can help eliminate any outside noise from a sleeping child’s bedroom, older children often use the bedroom door for a different purpose: to keep themselves in and their parents out.
In 2015, care.com asked parents if a bedroom door is a right or a privilege. Responses were mixed, with some parents advocating children’s right to privacy and others arguing that children do not need privacy.
Other outlets such as psychology today and Professor’s House, have also addressed the issue of bedroom doors, and in general, one solution appears more often than all the others: compromise.
“As long as there are channels of communication between the child and the parent, the room should be left to the care of the child,” said the psychology today website reads. “Active dialogue and some degree of mutual accommodation is the answer.”
In the case of the viral Reddit post, the original author said that there was, and continues to be, a high level of communication between her, her husband, and their son. And no matter how much pressure her sister and other family members apply, the original poster assured that keeping her son comfortable and safe is her top priority, something many Redditors could appreciate.
“[Not the a**hole]Redditor u/km89 wrote in the top comment of the post, which received more than 11,000 upvotes.
“As someone who grew up with very little privacy… thank you,” they added. “You’re doing the right thing for your son.”
Reddit user u/Adventurous_Aide-456, whose comment received over 1,300 upvotes, speculated that the original author’s sister insisting that her nephew appease her three children could be detrimental in the future.
“That’s not sharing, that’s bullying,” they wrote. “Your sister is encouraging her children to bully your son, which will only increase her social anxiety…what your sister is doing will only hurt your son and teach them horrible manners.”
“Unlike his sister, he is teaching his son that the only thing he is entitled to is personal autonomy,” Redditor u/BrownSugarBare added. “Your sister is teaching her kids to get mad when they don’t get their way and demand things from people who don’t owe them anything.”
news week contacted au/NewtGroundbreaking70 for comment.