The internet is torn apart by a situation involving a woman who picked up her drunk stepson from a party without telling her husband.
the now viral Reddit The post, titled “AITA for not telling my husband where his son was,” received 8,000 upvotes and more than 800 comments. The post was shared on the “Am I The A**hole” subreddit on May 31 by Redditor. @big_yikes_jefewho said she is a 27-year-old woman.
According to the Pew Research CenterMore than four in 10 Americans have an adoptive relative in their individual family in the form of a stepparent, stepbrother or half-brother, or stepchild. In a survey of more than 2,600 adults, 42 percent said they had an adoptive relative. In addition, three out of 10 respondents have a stepbrother or half brother.
The woman said she is married to her husband of 37 years and they were married four years ago. She has three children from a previous marriage, 16-year-old twins and a 13-year-old girl.
From the beginning, the original poster (OP) was “clear” with the children that although she would like a relationship, she would never try to “force” them into anything.
“And, for the most part, it’s gone as well as you’d hope,” the woman explained. “I’m daddy’s wife, nothing more.”
But he said that when the twins started learning to drive the previous summer, he told them that driving would “give them a new freedom” and that he knew what teenagers got into. She told them that while she understands that’s part of “growing up,” her safety was “the most important thing.”
He added, “So if you ever felt like you were in an unsafe situation and needed a way out, feel free to call me. I’d come get you no matter what, no questions asked, and Dad didn’t have to know.” (His husband and ex tend to be very liberal with punishments.) I was ignored at the time, and I thought very little about it.”
But last Friday, one of the twins was supposed to be sleeping over at a friend’s house after prom. At 2:30 in the morning the OP was playing when she received a call from him. He explained “in a shaky, slurred voice” that he was at a house party for an older girl, and that his friend who was driving it had “dumped” him.
“And he had been drinking,” he added. “A lot. And please don’t tell dad. I already ran away from home, and I’m just like, ‘Don’t worry, your dad is asleep and I’m on my way.’ He texts me the address after A little persuasion and within 30 minutes I’m discreetly dragging a shaky drunk kid into my passenger seat. He’s crying within five minutes of leaving. I did my best to comfort him.”
He got the boy some food from McDonald’s and took him home, sneaking him back into his room and putting him to bed. She didn’t sleep because she was “constantly” checking on him to make sure she had no signs of alcohol intoxication.
Her husband left for work early on Saturday, so she didn’t realize the child was home. The teen had a mild hangover, but he was fine, she said. And since then, the twins have been “hot” on the woman. She even heard him describe the house as belonging to his dad and her stepmom, not just her dad.
“But, yesterday, my husband put two and two together after a combination of local gossip and his daughter’s testimony. [about] what actually happened, and it turned out what I did,” said the OP. “Obviously, he was angry because I knew and didn’t tell him.”
The woman told her partner that she would not apologize for showing the boy to ask for help in “bad situations” and that she would not “forgive punishing him” for doing what he had to do to “fix a mistake” he had learned. of.
But her husband said she “weakened” him as the child’s father by going behind his back like that. The teen’s mother thought the woman “completely overdid it.” However, the OP thought she did the right thing.
In a comment to another Redditor, the OP added that her husband would “definitely have punished” the boy for being in a house that wasn’t the house he said he was going to be in.
“It doesn’t matter what other kids drink,” the woman said.
She also mentioned that she is “sure” that the fact that it was a girl’s home “kills” her husband too. The OP said that the teen “would have been like seven different flavors of grounded even if he hadn’t been drunk himself. And while I understand the reasoning behind his reaction, I think he has a tendency to lose control when dealing with the twins and assume the worst. Semi-regularly I have to talk him out of ‘grounded forever’ verdicts.”
More than 800 comments poured into the viral post, with many people backing the woman for helping the teen. However, not everyone would agree that she did the right thing by not telling her partner what happened.
One Reddit user wondered what the alternative was, and also questioned why people can’t see the “big picture,” insisting: “Punish a child for being honest and you teach them to withhold information and learn how not to get caught.” . If they don’t have a safe place, they are on an island of their own. Sad”.
One comment received 15,400 upvotes on its own, and the Redditor didn’t think the OP was to blame. They reason that it’s “so incredibly rare” for a teen to “feel a strong enough connection with an adult” to communicate when they “don’t feel safe,” adding that they “could easily have saved them a trip to the hospital.” or a slow death on the floor of a high school girl. You absolutely did the right thing, and you’re an amazing stepmom.”
Another user thought teens need more of those in their lives that say, “We’re going to clean you up,” not “You’re grounded forever,” reasoning, “The kid probably learned a lot more from that night than he would have.” if dad had shown up screaming. He is safe. That’s what matters”.
One Reddit user thought it ended up being a “win-win for the family” adding: “NTA [not the a**hole]. There’s a reason he called you. He needed you. You rescued him, you brought him home safe and sound, you took care of him. He now he knows that he can trust you.”
However, not everyone agreed with the woman’s actions. One Reddit user, who thought the OP was wrong, expressed that covering up for the teen to “win him over” is going to “backfire” on the woman in the long run. They agreed with her statement to go looking for them, but thought the woman’s “follow-up” was missing.
“My parents had a similar rule, and while they made it clear that my safety was the most important thing, that didn’t automatically mean there would be no consequences,” they said. “Your 16-year-old stepson ran away from home and went to a party where he drank alcohol. Can you honestly say you don’t think there should be any consequences to that?”
Another user chimed in and chose “Everyone sucks here” or ESH for their verdict. They agreed that picking up the teen was the right thing to do and applauded the teen for making the right decision to get home safely.
“However, you have shown your husband that he cannot trust you not to hide things from him,” they added. “I get that you didn’t want to see your son get in trouble for how mom and dad act, but it’s not your place to raise him. Honestly, if you were that scared of how dad would react in this situation, I don’t know why you would stay married to him.” .
While one user thought what the woman did was “a good thing,” she still thought she was to blame. They reasoned that they are not her children and that she cannot make decisions for them.
“You can’t hide things from your parents,” they added. “This would be a serious problem and a possible divorce from me. You went behind my back, you lied to me and then you continued to lie to me more about my son. It’s not right.”
news week reached out to Redditor @big_yikes_chief for comment.
This isn’t the only viral moment involving stepdads. a man lit outrage after he tore up his stepson’s drawing of his family. A stepmother was beaten by wanting to force his stepdaughter to go to SeaWorld. In addition, the Internet supported a woman who did not allow her stepson to “honor” his late mother at her upcoming wedding.