welcome to 24 hours onlinewhere we ask a person extremely interested in the Internet to document a day in their life by looking at screens.
If you’re in a certain corner of TikTok Gen Z-leftist-feminist-media-critical, you know Rayne Fisher Quanna 20-year-old writer who has been successful on the internet since joining: As a teenager in Toronto, she gained a sizable following on Instagram because her best friend became famous on a Nickelodeon show, and has since built an equally formidable audiences on Tumblr, Twitter, and most recently TikTok, where she talks about feminism, leftism, mental illness, and, well, herself.
“I’ve always been very good at making people pay attention to me, and that’s not necessarily a positive personality trait,” he says. During his 24 hours online, which took place in mid-February, Fisher-Quann experiences the terror of going viral, reads about the changing mood, and reflects on the 21st-century dissonance of commodifying oneself while criticizing the concept of self-commodification. .
Here she is, in her own words:
Every day I wake up at 9 am, look up names on social media to make sure everything went well, and then go back to sleep. This is my worst and most obsessive habit. I pretend it’s because of my evolutionary desire to gossip or whatever and not just a symptom of low-grade narcissism.
You’re in her dms, I’m writing a Rayne Fisher-Quann inspired essay on how she hurt me. we are not the same
— kat (@balconiesoflove) March 3, 2022
Today someone said I’m their literary Phoebe Bridgers. Someone else said: “What the hell is wrong with Rayne Fisher-Quann? Please take a multivitamin.” Just.
I have a flurry of notifications and a couple hundred new followers from a podcast I recorded a while ago. it’s my friend’s podcast Binchtopia, which people call “Red Scare for good people”. We talk about accountability and leftism. It’s a very big podcast, so I was a little nervous, but it was very well received.
A TikTok video I posted yesterday got 100,000 views overnight. If you talk to someone who isn’t online and say, “I went viral,” they’ll say, “Congratulations, that’s awesome!” And if you say that to someone on the Internet, they’ll say, “I’m so sorry, are you okay?” Once your video starts getting 100,000 to 300,000 views, that’s when it enters a crowd that isn’t used to you and the things you talk about.
My followers notice that I washed my hair and congratulate me. I’m very transparent about my mental illnesses online, and my followers know that I only wash my hair once or twice a month, it’s kind of like an inside joke. I find it very liberating to say, “I’m a little disgusting.”
There’s definitely a lot of pressure with women in my position to do the cool girl character, the hot girl intellectual, the writer in a babydoll dress. I think some people definitely see me as one of the cool girls, but I realized a while ago that I couldn’t aspire to that. I’m just not organized enough. I’m trying to carve out this space that feels a little bit different, where I look like shit and wear the same sweater for a week and never wash my hair and yet imbue that with its own eroticism. I think it’s very sensual to be dirty.
I navigate [the Instagram account devoted to cringe TikToks] @favtiktoks420 Y @atlboards, which is a boutique bulk candy distributor in Atlanta that places gummy candies on plastic boards and sells them for hundreds of dollars. His videos take on a surreal, almost Dadaist quality when you watch enough of them. She constantly gets into controversies and her comments are always literally nothing but violent and vitriolic hate, and she keeps posting video after video of her playing with greased bulk candy. I would like to write and direct an auteur film about her one day.
I do the Wordle and kill it. It is not to brag.
I do a TikTok about vocal fingerlings. I haven’t had much energy for serious video analytics lately, maybe depression, maybe because TikTok is losing its vibe for me. When I started on TikTok, there was a cohort of really smart young women talking about feminism and politics, and of the people who were popular when I started, I think I’m the only one who still does. The capacity for nuances is very low and the attention span is very low. I think I came in at the right time, but I feel like people crave longer-form content.
That’s why my substack He has been very good to me. I don’t like how intimately my appearance, my voice, and the quality of my equipment affect the way my message is received.
I’m trying to take a cute selfie for IG while brushing my teeth and accidentally spill 100 percent of the toothpaste on my shirt.
I read The Cut’s “change of scene” article. Everybody has very developed versions, but I was entertained. The change to “sleazy indie” or whatever is good for me personally, because I’m pretty gross. I feel like I have a visual stink that you can’t wash away.
I reached 28k followers on IG. Instagram advertising gets to me – I finally bite the bullet and order Skims. I have been wearing the same bra every day for about three years.
I see, like, three hours of Inventing Ana. There is nothing I like more than shitty television. It’s not even ironic enjoyment! I like it I love it The Bachelor.
A lot of people have been tagging me on a very nice TikTok! It’s weird to see people’s negative opinions of me, but sometimes it feels even weirder to see people’s positive opinions of me.
I posted a picture of me drooling toothpaste on Instagram and it got 4,000 likes. I briefly wonder what people in high school think of me.
I wish I was better off not being on the internet, but unfortunately it’s something I really crave and also what I’m really good at. I’ve always been very good at making people pay attention to me, and that’s not necessarily a positive personality trait. I really respect people who are completely disconnected and who don’t self-commodify. Looking back at my posts feels like when you’re at a party in high school and realize too late that you’ve been speaking louder than everyone else.
Sometimes my social media presence is like gonzo journalism myself, which is itself a deeply narcissistic endeavor. But it’s hard to find depictions of mental illness and femininity on the internet that aren’t thoroughly sanitized and viewed through this upstart lens. I have very difficult OCD and chronic depression, and when people talk about mental illness on the internet, it’s very often either this extremely sweet and sanitized version of mental illness, or it’s hopeless and nihilistic. What I try to do is show in great detail what it’s like to have an exceptional mental illness and not hate myself for it. I make it very clear that I have compassion for myself, and I think it’s important for people to see that you can have all these things wrong with you and still care about getting better.
I’m going to bed. I think I’ve definitely gotten over the hurdle of being completely overwhelmed by the weight of other people’s opinions of me. He shows up from time to time, but most of the time, he’s just plain funny. I am a woman who loves attention.
Total screen time:
7 hours, 40 minutes